Since my teens, I had been obsessed with the goal of obtaining the ‘perfect’ body, which was unnaturally thin for my height. Whilst I managed to maintain a low body weight, it was never thin enough, so my life was dominated by gruelling exercise regimes and a preoccupation with food.
I was trapped in the belief that if I had the perfect body, I would feel happy and be accepted. I did not realise that constantly striving to be something other than I naturally was, was actually preventing me from feeling contentment inside.
Following my heart
So I followed my heart and let it guide me to people, places and things far and wide in search of happiness. I travelled the world, lived and worked in different cultures, learned numerous skills, worked in various professions, studied books on psychology, spirituality and religion and pushed myself as far as I possibly could to find lasting happiness. But that was the problem. Nothing ever lasted. It was exciting and challenging in the beginning, but then inevitably, everything returned to normal and I would be searching once again for the next challenge, the new adventure.
All that changed, however, when a series of serendipities led me to discover Kundalini Yoga...
Discovering Kundalini Yoga
I knew it was something extraordinary after my very first class because nothing before had ever felt so right. It was like no other form of exercise that I had experienced before, including other styles of yoga. My whole body was tingling from the inside out and I felt alive and awakened. From that moment on, I began practicing every day and my life began to transform before my eyes.
In the beginning, I cried and slept a lot, which I later understood to be repressed emotions being released. Physical symptoms that I had struggled with for years began to disappear, my food cravings changed for the better and I developed a natural, healthy body weight. My preoccupation with food dissolved over time and I felt happier than I ever had been with my body. I became less critical and judgemental of myself and others and for the first time ever, I began to experience freedom from my limiting thoughts and beliefs.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakens.
Yoga has taught me that happiness cannot be found outside of ourselves. Only inside can we find everlasting happiness, and it's right here, right now, just waiting for us to quiet our mind, listen and acknowledge who we really are.
Yoga has enabled me to cope gracefully with life’s challenges, by helping me to accept that everything is exactly as it's supposed to be in any given moment. We cannot control circumstances outside of ourselves, but we can choose how we respond to them. And with experience, we come to understand that our greatest challenges are our greatest teachers, as they take us deeper into ourselves, where we discover who we are and find everything that we've been looking for.