I decided a long time ago, that I didn't want to have any regrets in life
I remember reading once that one of the most common regrets people have at the end of their lives are the things they did not do, rather than the things they did. That resonated so strongly with me, that I decided I wanted to see and do everything that I possibly could on my quest to find happiness....as I wasn't content inside.
Since my teens, I had been obsessed with the goal of obtaining the ‘perfect’ body, which was unnaturally thin for my height. Whilst I managed to maintain a low body weight, it was never thin enough, so my life was dominated by gruelling exercise regimes and a preoccupation with food. I was trapped in the belief that if I had the perfect body, I would feel happy and be accepted. I did not realise that constantly striving to be something other than I naturally was, was actually preventing me from feeling contentment inside.
So I followed my heart and let it guide me to people, places and things far and wide
So I followed my heart and let it guide me to people, places and things far and wide. I travelled the world, lived and worked in different cultures, learned new skills, worked in different professions, studied books on psychology, spirituality and religion and pushed myself as far as I possibly could, to expand my horizons.
Sometimes things worked out perfectly and how I wanted them to be, other times disastrously and not at all what I had hoped for. However, with experience, I came to realise there was no such thing as ‘perfect’ or ‘disastrous’. These experiences were simply whatever I perceived them to be. And in fact, every single experience had immense value, as it taught me the lessons I needed to learn in order to grow and become the person that I am.
However, despite all the amazing experiences I had, there was still an emptiness inside
However, despite all the amazing experiences I had, there was still an emptiness inside, as I was still struggling with my eating disorder.
But all that changed, when a series of serendipities, led me to discover Kundalini Yoga.
'When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be' Pantanjali
I knew it was something extraordinary after my very first class because nothing before had ever felt so right. It was like no other form of exercise that I had ever experienced, including other styles of yoga. My whole body was tingling from the inside out and I felt alive and awakened. From that moment on, I began practicing every day and my life began to transform before my eyes.
In the beginning, I cried and slept a lot, which I later understood to be repressed emotions being released. Physical symptoms that I had struggled with for years began to disappear, my food cravings changed for the better and I developed a natural, healthy body weight. My preoccupation with perfection dissolved and I felt happier than I ever had been with my body. I became less critical and judgemental of myself and others and for the first time ever, I began to experience freedom and true happiness.
For the first time ever,
I began to experience
freedom and true happiness
Yoga helped me find what I was searching for... myself. My journey began in 2011 and continues to this day as I draw closer to the truth of who I am.
By knowing myself, I have changed how I feel about myself. I am no long searching for sources of happiness outside of myself, but looking inwards, which actually transforms everything in the outside world.
Yoga has enabled me to cope better with life’s challenges by helping me to accept that everything is exactly as it's supposed to be in any given moment. We cannot control circumstances outside of ourselves, but we can choose how we respond to them and with experience, we come to understand that there is always a bigger picture that has yet to be revealed. Moreover we discover that our greatest challenges, are our greatest teachers, as they take us deeper into ourselves, where we find everything that we've been looking for.
I believe happiness is found in understanding who we are and discovering our passions in life
I believe that happiness is found in understanding who we are and consequently, discovering our passions in life. If we nurture our passions, we can bring into fruition a life of immense fulfillment, doing what we love for a living and experiencing a life we had only ever dreamed of. This form of happiness is always inside of us, it is eternal, meaning outside circumstances cannot impact it and best of all, no one can take it away from us. Our passions are who we are, at the very core of our existence - we just have to quiet our mind enough to reveal them!
So now I am truly happy. I love what I do and my way forward in life is clear. I have found an infinite source of happiness within, by dedicating my life to the regular practice of yoga and meditation.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakens